Getting Married WON'T Make Me Happy

02.21.11

Yes, I know the title of this blog seems to sound as though I never want to get married. But that is NOT the real message I want to get across. The fact is, the LDS church encourages everyone to get married and start a family. It's a vital part of Heavenly Father's plan and I too someday plan to be married in the Temple and start a family of my own. I grew up in a very loving family and now that I am an adult, I truly miss many blessings that only a loving family can provide.

But somewhere down the line, married members of the church started trying to convince those who are still single that getting married will make a person happier. I do not believe it. I am not saying that a single person is happier than a married person, either. There is a lot of happiness that can come from being single as well as being married.

I can't tell you how many members of the church I've met who truly mope around and complain that they are not married yet. They are completely convinced that they would be happier if they were married. The problem with being convinced that one way of living will make you happier than another is you are not appreciating the blessings that you have in your life right now. I personally am very thankful I don't have to change diapers multiple times a day, or sleep in the same bed as someone who rolls around constantly, waking me up throughout the night. I love that I can make a midnight McDonalds run without having to tell anyone where I'm going and I don't have to call someone if I'm going to be late from work. And believe me, nothing compares to being able to watch whatever movie you want on a Friday night, rather than compromising on a movie neither of you is very excited about.

Too many times I meet men and women who are single, and yet somehow they aren't enjoying the blessings they have because they are desperate for a life they have been told is better. The best advice I've ever been told concerning marital happiness is this:

"If you're not happy when you're single, you're not going to be happy when you're married."

I suppose the real point I'm trying to get across here is that only you can DECIDE whether you are happy with your life or not. You are the only one who can decide to appreciate the blessings you have, blessings that you won't have when you get married someday. There are so many things that you can easily do when you are single that will be near impossible when you are married. I know this for a fact from watching my brother take 20 minutes just to get his kids in the car to head home as I quickly hop in my car and speed away in less than thirty seconds.

So again I say, getting married WON'T make me happy. Neither will being single. I can decide to appreciate my life, or decide to be unhappy. I am genuinely happy because I have learned to love the life I have, while patiently waiting for the life I don't have yet. When I do find my eternal companion, I plan to enjoy the wonderful life we create together, just as I currently enjoy the truly blessed single life I have right now.

Someday when I find the right guy, I believe I will have a much happier marriage than someone who spends their entire life looking for a new situation that will make them happier, rather than learning to love the blessings they already have.

Article written by Shelly Allen.
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TAGS: adult, appreciation, blessings, children, Christ, church, commandment, companion, date, dating, day, engagement, eternal, family, Father, gospel, grass, greener, happiness, happy, Heavenly, husband, Jesus, Latter, lds, life, love, man, marriage, men, mormon, partner, plan, relationships, Saints, single, temple, wedding, wife, woman, women

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